Sometime last year, I read a disturbing article in a woman's magazine (it may have been Cosmopolitan). This article, which was not very long, said that women today use negative statements about themselves and other women to bond. In a social setting, one woman may start out by saying "I hate my hair" and then the expectation is that all of the other women will chime in with a negative statement about themselves. Groups of women (and individual women) also use negative statments about other women. The theory is that by degrading another women, the social standing of the degrader will rise.
This, to me at least, seems like a terrible social cycle that women allow themselves to be drawn into. Not only does focusing on the negative create a perpetual feeling of depression, but by using negative statements, whether about ourselves or another woman, the depression is spread to other women and the cycle of negativity continues. Also, many of the "negatives" that are focused on are socially constructed negatives. Having a loved one killed in a car wreck is a negative. Starving children in every contry is a negative. Not being able to fit into a size 2 is not a negative. Unfortunately, women spend so much time focusing on false negatives that we don't have the time or energy to focus on things that actually need fixing.
Think of all the time you've spent looking in a mirror picking out "flaws" in your figure. Now imagine if you'd spent that time making sandwiches or blankets for the homeless. Add up all the money you've spent on "it" clothes that don't fit because you have a healthy body weight (that society labels as "fat") and imagine how it could have been spent on helping to build a daycare center for low income mothers. Both time and money can really add up.
The trick to starting social change among the society of women is to stop the negativity at the source. Next time someone says to you "I hate my fat thighs," instead of coming back with "Yeah, I hate that my middle toe is so short" stop the negativity by paying her a compliment. Next time you're in the store lamenting that you don't fit into a pair of skin tight jeans but you're thinking of buying them anyways, stop and think what that $40 might be used for that's more productive, even if you just put it in your savings account. If you try to do a few little things every day, and encourage the women around you to positivity, eventually it will add up, and the world we live in will be a better place.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
What Makes People Ugly?
Several months ago, I viewed a slide show on MSN that was about a company (I don't remember who) whom had decided to start using real people as models, only they were dubbed "ugly is the new beautiful." I viewed the entire slide show, and the message of "ugly" vs. "beautiful" has stuck with my ever since, and everyonce it a while it rises to the top of my mind and naggs at me.
Nothing about any of the individuals depicted was ugly. More than half were men, several were smiling, and each one was unique, but none were ugly. So why were they labled by the ad company as such?
It's no great secret that the advertisements for various products are the driving force for the definition of "beauty" among American women today. Cosmetics, clothing, cars, hair products, household goods, and jewelry stores are just a few of the industries that flood the market with "beautiful" women, depicting them as the ideal womanly shape. The message is that if women buy their product, we will suddenly be 5 foot 7, with long blonde hair and an ultra lean body, and we'll be over the moon happy all the time.
I know this to be a spurious falsehood, because I've never come out of a department store taller, thinner, with longer hair, and I usually feel tired instead of happy. If I've spent money impuslively, I also feel drained and guilty. So, over the years, I have determined through trial and error that purchasing things doesn't make me beautiful.
What, then, creates this nebulous idea of "beauty?" Am I doomed to "uglyness" because of my genetic makeup, over which I had no control? None of the people in the MSN slideshow had control over their genetic makeup, either, yet they were given the label of "ugly" simply for not looking like the advertiser's ideal.
Life would be a lot easier for advertisers and product producers if everyone was the same. Advertisers and producers alike could find the bottom line that worked and just let the profits role in. Everyone would buy this and that specific product, go to this or that specific restaraunt, live a particular way, look a particular way, act a particular way. Unfortunately, this sameness would probably lead to the extinction of the human race.
Everyone is different because the health of the species depends on it. Genetic diversity is the great key to mammalian sucess (or for that matter, most plant and animal speices on the earth). Have you ever heard the phrase "opposites attract?" It's a genetic truth. People with different genetics often are diven to be attracted to each other, primarily through smell in humans, in order to maximize the genetic diversity of the species.
Each on of us is made unique for a very specific reason. Therefore, it would not be a huge leap to believe that it is the individuality of each person that in fact makes them beautiful. Marketers are scared of this truth, because it would make their jobs harder and their profits would decrease if they have to meet the demands of a heterogeneous population. It is to this end that visual clones are offered as the ideal.
So next time you flip open a magazine and think "I must be ugly because I don't look like this model" stop and think how strong and beautiful being different is. There's no one else in the world who looks like you. You are, literally, one in several billion.
Nothing about any of the individuals depicted was ugly. More than half were men, several were smiling, and each one was unique, but none were ugly. So why were they labled by the ad company as such?
It's no great secret that the advertisements for various products are the driving force for the definition of "beauty" among American women today. Cosmetics, clothing, cars, hair products, household goods, and jewelry stores are just a few of the industries that flood the market with "beautiful" women, depicting them as the ideal womanly shape. The message is that if women buy their product, we will suddenly be 5 foot 7, with long blonde hair and an ultra lean body, and we'll be over the moon happy all the time.
I know this to be a spurious falsehood, because I've never come out of a department store taller, thinner, with longer hair, and I usually feel tired instead of happy. If I've spent money impuslively, I also feel drained and guilty. So, over the years, I have determined through trial and error that purchasing things doesn't make me beautiful.
What, then, creates this nebulous idea of "beauty?" Am I doomed to "uglyness" because of my genetic makeup, over which I had no control? None of the people in the MSN slideshow had control over their genetic makeup, either, yet they were given the label of "ugly" simply for not looking like the advertiser's ideal.
Life would be a lot easier for advertisers and product producers if everyone was the same. Advertisers and producers alike could find the bottom line that worked and just let the profits role in. Everyone would buy this and that specific product, go to this or that specific restaraunt, live a particular way, look a particular way, act a particular way. Unfortunately, this sameness would probably lead to the extinction of the human race.
Everyone is different because the health of the species depends on it. Genetic diversity is the great key to mammalian sucess (or for that matter, most plant and animal speices on the earth). Have you ever heard the phrase "opposites attract?" It's a genetic truth. People with different genetics often are diven to be attracted to each other, primarily through smell in humans, in order to maximize the genetic diversity of the species.
Each on of us is made unique for a very specific reason. Therefore, it would not be a huge leap to believe that it is the individuality of each person that in fact makes them beautiful. Marketers are scared of this truth, because it would make their jobs harder and their profits would decrease if they have to meet the demands of a heterogeneous population. It is to this end that visual clones are offered as the ideal.
So next time you flip open a magazine and think "I must be ugly because I don't look like this model" stop and think how strong and beautiful being different is. There's no one else in the world who looks like you. You are, literally, one in several billion.
A Journey Begins
First of all, I want to welcome those who have chosen to read this blog. I could have done this in a handwritten journal, but I feel that self discovery is something that is best shared. I also hope that my journey will encourage others to perform their own journey of discovery.
I decided to start this particular journey after having read The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women by Naomi Wolf. This book was first published in 1991, and then again with an added Introduction in 2002 by HarperCollins Publishers Inc, NY, NY. For anyone who has not heard of or read this particular book I highly recommend it, to both men and women.
I'd like to open this blog with a little bit of information about myself. I am 25, female, single, and a first year master's student in science education. My hobbies include reading, knitting, sewing, making jewelry, and cooking. I also enjoy swimming, bike riding when the weather is nice, and I am a museum/aquarium junkie. I am going to refrain from posting geographical or other identifying information here, simply because of online saftey precautions.
I am also not going to post about things like frozen pipes, rude drivers, the state of the economy, family drama, or other related topics. This blog is specifically for discovery and positive growth.
I hope you enjoy traveling with me on this road, and I am looking forward to the journey. My intent is to post at least once a week, but I know that the demands of graduate school will sometimes make that unfeasable.
In the words of Confusious, "the journey of a thousand steps begins under one's feet."
I decided to start this particular journey after having read The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women by Naomi Wolf. This book was first published in 1991, and then again with an added Introduction in 2002 by HarperCollins Publishers Inc, NY, NY. For anyone who has not heard of or read this particular book I highly recommend it, to both men and women.
I'd like to open this blog with a little bit of information about myself. I am 25, female, single, and a first year master's student in science education. My hobbies include reading, knitting, sewing, making jewelry, and cooking. I also enjoy swimming, bike riding when the weather is nice, and I am a museum/aquarium junkie. I am going to refrain from posting geographical or other identifying information here, simply because of online saftey precautions.
I am also not going to post about things like frozen pipes, rude drivers, the state of the economy, family drama, or other related topics. This blog is specifically for discovery and positive growth.
I hope you enjoy traveling with me on this road, and I am looking forward to the journey. My intent is to post at least once a week, but I know that the demands of graduate school will sometimes make that unfeasable.
In the words of Confusious, "the journey of a thousand steps begins under one's feet."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
